Infertility:

The dream of having a baby can create feelings of excitement, happiness, and hope.  When that dream is unrealized, it can be devastating.  To hear your doctor utter the word “infertility” can leave you confused, shocked, and questioning what it all means.  RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association defines infertility as “the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected intercourse (six months if the woman is over age 35) or the inability to carry a pregnancy to live birth.”  A diagnosis of infertility does not only apply to women.  RESOLVE states that “35% of infertility is related to male factor problems.”  Upon receiving your diagnosis, your doctor is able to provide you with medical support, but it is often not enough to meet all of your needs.

For many, the result of infertility can lead to emotional, physical, and financial demands that can feel overwhelming.  You are not alone.  Per RESOLVE, “more than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility.”  While statistics can help normalize some aspects of the experience for you, statistics alone can never ease the tremendous burden you carry inside.  Each month you embark on an emotional rollercoaster hoping to conceive, only to learn you have not.  Or maybe you were able to conceive, only to have your world crash down when you learn you or your partner has miscarried, perhaps not for the first time. 

The experience can become all consuming and result in one or more of the following:

• Sadness
• Crying
• Hopelessness
• Isolation
• Irritability
• Anger
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Panic Attacks
• Guilt
• Low Self-Esteem
• Relationship Problems
• Intimacy Issues

Coping with infertility is not to be minimized and you should not be expected to simply move on.  It is appropriate to want to grieve the loss, whether it is the loss of pregnancy or the loss of a perceived natural right to conceive.  The initial goal in working with you through this very difficult time is first, and foremost, to listen.  To allow you the time to tell your unique story and to provide you with a safe environment where you can express yourself as needed.  The next goal is to help you develop the tools necessary to heal, strengthen yourself and your relationship, and move forward in a healthy manner.  Moving forward may include exploring your options such as IUI, IVF, donor eggs/sperm, embryo donation, surrogacy, adoption, or living childfree.  Whatever you choose, the goal is that you will use your new positive coping skills to effectively navigate through, and make decisions about, your fertility journey.